I have accepted the fact that this will end in divorce barring a miracle. A little part of my heart still wants that miracle
The miracle will happen once he has lost you and everything else and once you have actually moved on from him, all while being a better, happier, independent YOU!
He's not likely to think he's lost everything since he already has another woman. Just another reason to completely let go. My head knows that God has a plan. My heart hasn't caught up yet.
Me - 53 H - 48 Together 13 yrs No children together BD - May '15 EA confirmed June '15 Filed for separation/living mostly separate 7/15 H counter files for divorce 8/15
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
So sorry Becky. It's bad enough when a spouse leaves, but the added insult when there is OM or OW is salt in the wound. As you say, God has a plan. I wouldn't be so sure that your H won't have regret at some point, and maybe even want to come back. I'm in a D support group for men, and one of the other guys left his W, filed for D, and then called off the A 6 months later. It's now a year after his D and he's in terrible shape. He finally realized that he truly loved his W and what he had lost. But you can't focus on that, as it may never happen. Go be the best Becky you can be. Sending you strength.
Me 47 W 42 T 24 yrs M 18 yrs W living with OM BD1: 3/7/2015 (A with OM#1) BD2: 4/11/2015 (A with OM#2, W moves out) WW filed for D, papers received 9/18/2015. Meeting to determine child custody 9/29/2015.
He's not likely to think he's lost everything since he already has another woman. Just another reason to completely let go. My head knows that God has a plan. My heart hasn't caught up yet. No children together
I feel the exact same with my sitch...whatever God wants to happen will happen
Me-30 H/STBX-32 Daughters-10,7,18 months M-9 years T-11 years A few BD's since 2011 H left-March 16,2015 H came back-June 6,2015 Kicked husband out BC he was still seeing OW-June 26,2015
The OM or OW is a fantasy that will surely fade just like everything else. They will in time know what they have lost, so start on YOU now, ther is light at the end of the tunnel, if you keep telling yourself "hes not this nor that" then your creating truth to your words. Have some Faith and hope and stop thinking about what he thinks or not thinks, who cares. He doesn't.
He's not likely to think he's lost everything since he already has another woman. Just another reason to completely let go. My head knows that God has a plan. My heart hasn't caught up yet.
Becky, just caught up on your sitch .. my heart goes out to you.
The A is not built on what your M was, 2 broken people jumping ship into a row boat with the rose-colored glasses on thinking it will all be just fine ... it will run its course, unfortunately for you things are moving very fast which pushes you to go LRT. Reading your sitch your H is hurting ... he is looking to escape that by any means he can.
He very well might need the D papers in hand before he realizes that he is no closer to happiness than when he started this mess. My W was in the same boat ... but realized just in time what she really wanted.
For now, all you can do is work on you. The healing for you can start now, you are lucky in that regard. If you do believe God has a plan, give this to him and trust there are lessons to be learned for you both with all this. It was hard for me but when I did that it was like I came up for air and could breathe again.
Thank you all. I am trying 5o,focus on me and getting back to the person I used to be.
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
You are going to be a new you, not the old one, look forward to who you are going to be, not backwards at who you were.
The old you got you here, the new you will propel you forward as your solution oriented thinking will shine through.
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
Question about going dark. For the last couple of weeks h and I have had little contact, mostly about logistics. I am trying to go dark. Yesterday H forwarded me to an email about break-ins in our neighborhood. I didn't respond. I forgot my cell phone at home. Had 2 missed calls and 2 texts from him asking if I got the email. I texted back that I got the email. That was it. I guess that is still going dark? I am not initiating any contact.
Me - 53 H - 48 Married 13 yrs No children together BD - May '15 EA confirmed June '15 Filed for separation/living mostly separate 7/15 H moves out and counter files for divorce 8/15
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
Thank you all. I am trying 5o,focus on me and getting back to the person I used to be.
I am going forward, but the last two years of our marriage has been so full of health issues, deaths and trauma I lost my self in trying to manage it all. That's what I meant.
Me - 53 H - 48 Married 13 yrs No children together BD - May '15 EA confirmed June '15 Filed for separation/living mostly separate 7/15 H moves out and counter files for divorce 8/15
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
