Help for LBH who has a WW (new thread)

[Fogg]

I think there is some truth to thinking MLC is a condition and we might be able to stick it out until they are healed. Same with how we look at them being in the fog. Some of us even try to excuse what the WAS is doing with those thoughts. Like they aren't in control, which doesn't really help. It is a choice on their part and we shouldn't ignore or try to excuse that fact. However, I think using it to have some compassion is very helpful.


The MLCer could be dealing with psychological issues that the WW may not face. You guys can correct me if I'm wrong, but it is still a matter of "choice", right? I mean, they do know they are doing wrong when they go into an A, etc.

True,but when we first get here not all of us see it this way. When we get here a WW isn't a WW, she's a W that has been hurt by our actions so much that she's finally moving forward with her life and finding a new partner that will make her happy, something we couldn't do. It's not always viewed as a selfish choice. We blame ourselves and ignore they are being selfish. So calling it a WW (in the beginning when we get here) puts that burden on us where if it were a MLC it would be something more to do with them. At least this was my thought. Even if MLC is a longer situation to deal with its not entirely our faults. It's only later in this process we learn more about why this happened and take less of the blame internally.