I have definitely realized the mistakes and feel much remorse for the hurt I have caused her. It is interesting you mentioned church, I have had this itching to go back, I am going to go ahead and plan that.
I know their is a consensus here about not leaving the MBR or the Home. With this new EA that she is starting, the constant texting, the guilt I carry for putting us here (her blaming me doesn't help me either). I have been thinking of completely moving out to my mom's house, and then finally to my own apartment while I detach. Is this a good idea?
I have been good in following Sandie's 37 as of recent. I don't ask questions, I don't pursue, don't call/text, etc. I just can't handle the disrespect at home, especially in front of the kids.
She is trying to be friendly (I am her only support where we live), but this too sometimes throws me off my footing. When she is away on business, I feel good, in control of my emotions, so I am hoping that doing the same by leaving the home would be good for me. I love her, but I also love myself.
I am still hopeful that we can one day build a new marriage, but for now, I continue with what has been helping me. Reading Sandie's 37 every morning, as well as RobX detaching, meditating, exercising. I have been working on my GAL plan, have done some surfing, will be taking sailing lessons soon. etc.
I truly appreciate the support.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
