I was slammed with travel and work over the past two days. Just trying to get my equilibrium back now.
Let's take a look at the second draft here.
Hi W,
I appreciate you seeing this from my side and acknowledging how painful it’s been for me to be without Woofie. It’s been over 4 months without him so I’m excited to see him this weekend.
You are correct in us not seeing eye to eye on Woofie, because this is an emotional topic, emotions are inevitably going to get involved in deciding “where he would be happiest”. You don't want to get stuck on this part...deciding where Woofie would be happiest. Of course, you say yours...and W says hers. It's a no win stalemate. We both LOVE him and adore him. It’s acceptable to admit that is a huge part of our decision. To say otherwise would be disingenuous and deny our humanity.Too wordy. Too superfluous.[color:#3366FF] Neccessary??[/color]I know you love and want to have him stay with you. I do too. I won’t deny that part of you.
However the process is mystifying to me as you appear to want to hold all the cards in clearly defining “what is best for Woofie”. Again, you two are at loggerheads on this part. Drop the "best for Woofie" angle. You want to focus on "defining a shared responsibility for Woofie when I think differently." How does that help the healing process and/or keep open the lines of communication? Decisions about Woofie should be made as a partnership, not a monopoly.
I do not want our friendship to be forever altered over how we handle Woofie. Huh??! Your friendship is already forever altered. Nothing you can do about it. Also, how is this line helpful in getting W to the table about Woofie? To do so dishonors the loving, fair, and high level integrity with which we’ve both conducted our separation thus far. Grrr...it's that 'integrity' word again. I would simply change it out to respect. Again, how is this helpful?? Why bring up "separation"? Why would you want to reinforce it in W's mind when you don't want a D?
Woofie and I are going to have a blast this weekend, I've got a full day lined up for him! What time would be good for me to swing by and pick him up?
Thanks, PP
One final note here: I do not see any emphasis on your desire for a shared custody of Woofie. You really need to be consistent and firm on that particular point to W so she knows you mean serious business thus the unspoken inference that you are not settling for crumbs from her.
