Now that I am coming out of the fog and working on GAL, it seems like GAL is what she wanted, and will allow her to walk away easier. Is this common? WAW/MLC guilt? Continue to be patient and ride the storm?
Here's the thing, we can't make someone love us. The harder we try to force those feelings, the less they want to be around us.....much less love us.
What your W is saying is very common for a WW. I would not say it's guilt. Forgive me for being blunt, but the WW who tries to get the H to GAL, is usually trying to get him to just move on and leave her alone. Not out of her guilt, but her selfishness.
The WW is concerned about her freedom. If you move on, she thinks it will free her up easier....and without all the pressure of you pursuing.
I'm not saying a WW never feels guilty about anything, but I am saying her selfishness outweighs the guilt in most instances.
You don't want her to stay with you out of guilt, pressure, pity, financial reasons, obligations, and/or maybe even religious beliefs. The only way you will have a good MR, is if she loves you. Right now, your feelings may be screaming that you want her back under any conditions or for any reason. If you can get your focus off her long enough to start enjoying your own life, I think you will see that you deserve a woman who appreciates and loves you.
Someday, your W may want to return. First, she has to have time to go through certain things. She has to get something worked out in her head, and maybe her life. If she doesn't have that time and the freedom to do it, then it will likely push her further in the opposite direction.
I'm not telling you to give up hope, or to stop loving her. I am telling you that it is usually when the H lets go of the emotional rope, before it draws her in closer.
Stay with us. Read other threads. You can do this.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
