I have been at this mess over 2 years. In that time I have read countless books, tons of internet 'advice' columns, spoke with counselors, lawyers, priests ... you name it .. I have done it.
You can pick and chose what you read, pick out what you want to hear, what you want to hang your hat on ... believe this or that. You are spinning at the moment grasping for anything that is shiny and resembles hope. Hope is important ... to say "Impossible and Never lasts" ..... well those are absolutes and logically can not apply.
I am not out of this completely .. but after 2 years, I have moved back in with my W, I hear the ILY' sso often its honestly uncomfortable. She left with a young child, there was an OM, during the low points I was told HORRID things .... is it all peachy and perfect ... no. But ya know what ... its a far cry better from where I was before I landed here on the DB forums.
Quote:
Basically saying to move on and forget about getting back together with wife
That part I will not completely disagree with. Here is the thing, she fired you, right now the M is over in her mind .. the harder you try to hold on to her ... the more she will squirm out, the faster you chase .. the faster she will run. Your focus needs to shift from her ... .to yourself. Its hard and feels polar opposite to everything in your core ... but it is the only way through this. Thing is fdu .... you lost you somewhere through all this .. through the M, you have to find fdu again, pick yourself up and dust off. There is alot of work involved .. but as all things .. things that matter, nothing comes easy.
