Becky - One thing that has helped me is to reframe my Mindset a little.
There is no point in wondering if you'd take back your H right now, because he is not interested in reconciling with you. So, take the focus off of that and put it on you. Work on getting to a healthy state of detachment, work on getting YOUR life back together, work on improving YOU and so on.
Then, if, one day, your H decides he wants to reconcile, THATS when you'll be able to decide if that's what you still want.
