Hi Becky, sorry you're having a rough morning. How you feel is completely understandable - this is such a tough time. Do see your doctor or an IC if you need support, and make looking after yourself a priority - reading, gentle walks, meditation, run a bath, see friends, eat good food. Whatever helps you feel better.
The best advice I can give you about H is - aim to keep your head above water and get yourself onto a steady course. There is no need to make any big decisions about your future with H. It is early days, you are angry and scared, which isn't a good mindset for making good decisions. Best to take that pressure off yourself for now.
Take care xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus