legally separating

[beckyb]

I'm having a very hard time this morning. Nauseous, lots of anxiety. Really scared about the future and really angry that H has left me alone and childless at my age. Also very angry that he decided he was done with the marriage before I even had a clue. I still believe his depression and MLC left him vulnerable to OW, but still he made the choice. H has chronic neck pain issues. In the last three years he's had 2 surgeries to try to fix that, lost both his parent, diagnosed with prostate cancer and had prostate removed, been our of work a lot with no guarantee of going back. When he had his prostate removed and then was told he might not have a job is when everything really went done hill.

Not sure I want him and all his problems back again so why am I having such a hard time moving on?

Me - 53
H - 48
Together 13 yrs
No children together
BD - May 15
EA confirmed June 15
Filed for separation/living mostly separate 7/15
H counter files for divorce 8/15