I can see why people would want to put the MLC label on. IMO, we need to be so careful with labels and 'pigeonholing' people.

With MLC - there is an element of 'they can't help it' and 'you didn't cause it.' So, in a way it is more comfortable if you can think - this was unavoidable! But, whilst that may help with the pain - it's not that helpful for the personal introspection that needs to happen. I think it can help with forgiveness. My H has done some pretty awful things - but I understand more what is happening if he is in MLC.

When I first came on to the forum, I had a look at the MLC section and thought - WOAH! - I hope my H is just wayward. But actually, I do think he is having a MLC, and that is where I post now.

The downside of MLC is the timescale, which extends to years in most cases. As Cali said - there is a need for the LBS to detach and be patient - live our own lives - in order to survive and thrive.

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus