Hi Lynne, I truly don't think it is possible to heal while OW is anywhere in the picture. If he is not ready to completely let her go, are you ready to work on your R? If she is still calling, texting and he hasn't enforced NC, he's not 'all in' yet. Have you looked at the Infidelity chapter in DR to see what is needed for healing to begin?

Normally the minimums are NC with OP, complete transparency, MC - then whatever else you may need. Your H may be partly there.....but he isn't all in yet, from the sound of it. I would proceed with caution and think about your own boundaries and non-negotiables.

Take care, Sotto x

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus