1-- i have financial fear, big time. we have a meeting scheduled to start figuring out the financial settlement. i'm scared. the real estate market here is crazy. if i can't stay in my home, i don't know where i'll end up. that is my biggest fear-- and I have so much anger and resentment that my child and I are in this situation.
Please don't have a discussion with him alone about the financial settlement until you have thoroughly discussed it with your lawyer. You need to know exactly what is feasible in your state for a woman in your position, start out asking for MORE than that, and be able to negotiate it to a fair conclusion. (If you don't ask for a bit more, you won't have anything you can "give up" in negotiations).
Many women make the mistake of having these financial discussions without benefit of legal advice, and agreeing to settlements that are much less than what they could get.
Also, be realistic about what you can afford. For instance, don't negotiate to keep the house if you'll just end up in foreclosure in 3 years. Child support in most places is pretty much by formula. Alimony may or may not be available depending on your income, his income, and the length of the marriage. You should get half of any assets accumulated through the marriage. Try to negotiate things like him paying your child's health insurance if his job offers good coverage. Try to get any alimony in a lump sum if that's feasible. Make sure to have a life insurance policy on him to cover his child support payments. There are TONS of financial things to consider and you need to speak to your attorney first.
Also check out wife dot com, a website that included some helpful financial advice for me when I was getting divorced.
