Put a signature in your profile please, it'll help keep everyone reminded of your sitch.
Obsession/hope - all part of the same thing that will destroy you, ask me how I know. Try to find the balance of sitting with your feelings and then getting out of your head and doing something distracting and good for you.
I just spoke with my mediator, and you may find it helpful to view your H's actions under this, "These are never painless affairs for anyone, whether the plaintiff or the respondent. Even the people that want the divorce hurt. They go numb, they get angry, feel guilty...it doesn't mean they don't want the divorce."
Kramer and his WW got back together. But she got dumped by her OM, that was the lynch pin I think. Kramer did a remarkable job of showing nothing but self respect and confidence in moving forward throughout those months, and that had a lot to do with it.
Check out Mozza's links to other success stories if you want to get a feel for how drawing back looks like - but you could do everything 'right' and still not be able to save your M. Even MWD points that out in her DR book.
Google the Stockdale paradox and brace yourself.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
