One thing that has really started to stick in my craw. W continues to insist this isn't an affair. Goes so far as to attempt to convince me of this fact and gets really angry that I don't agree with her. The part that I don't get is this;
It was an emotional affair at least eight months prior to her leaving. Possibly physical. It ramped up October of last year, when they started discussing moving in together. She left 02/19/2015 and moved in with him at the latest by 02/22/2015. 3 days to go from our marital bed to his. If it isn't an affair ... what is an affair?!
She did tell me a number of times before she left that she wanted a divorce. Many times I convinced her to give it some time, let me finish school. Things will improve. Each time she agreed. Now she tells me that my refusal to let her leave is why it isn't an affair. At no point did I force her to stay. Beg and plead, yes, but I didn't force her to stay.
Late
She insists its not an affair because she is trying to justify in her head that what she done was necessary .... heck even better than its YOUR fault.
I have told this story a few times, and it fits for your situation here. Next time she pulls that ... its truth dart time.
It was Oct14 Halloween, W and I agreed to take S trick-or-treating .... I had PMA going, lost weight, new clothes ... all that. Just learned OM was back in the 'on again' arena and was trying to just deal with it and enjoy S and the night as he was not going to be doing this stuff forever. In between houses as S was in line for candy W and I were going at it. That was when she informed me OM was not her "boyfriend" and I asked how I should refer to him, POS was out and not BF was too ... she then went on to say and for the record its not an A, we are seperated. I got calm, stone cold calm ... and I siad, "Yes we are separated I will agree with you, we are separated because YOU chose to leave. YOUR AFFAIR is disrespectful to me, our M, S and our family" She then fired back with Spew "ITS NOT AN AFFAIR I LEFT YOU" So I again .. calm and smiled like I just had an epiphany "Oh ... so you mean to tell me that in my next M, when I go out with the fellas and decide to get housed, I can call my next W up, inform her its over and bed the hot little waitress that night and its all good ... thank you for sharing that loophole I had no idea of when it comes to marriage"
I walked up to S, told him goodnight and left.
This was the LAST time she ever tried to tell me it was not an A, later on she finally did admit it , admitted it was wrong.
Late, there are times you have to stand up to it, spew be damned ... do not allow her to rewrite history nor justify her actions ... do not judge nor cast stones out of hurt but simply set her straight on such things.
