FIDO - Changing the Rules - Pt 3

[NH115]

Thank you Dawn, I don't know if I'm patient or just plain scared of making the wrong decision. I'm not sure where you are exactly, but I suspect it would make my commute to work a little painful...otherwise I'd take you up on that spare room

I don't know how she'll ever regain that respect for me. It's obvious it's not happening. I have given her so much of the benefit of the doubt regarding OM, but between the kiss revelation and the BC pills, I really think I'm being strung along. Her talk in the past has been more about her fear of not being able to make it alone, instead of being without me. Someday I guess I'll connect those dots.

It's not so much that I'm spoiling for a big confrontation so much that I want her to know that my limit has been reached. I hated that she was so zonked out last night that I wouldn't have been able to have a conversation with her. I guess I want to give her one last chance to tell me the truth. I also don't want to appear arbitrary. I want it to be clear to her that she has exceeded my limits, not that I'm just making a snap decision to walk out. I can hear her words now...that I've always wanted out and just wanted an excuse.

She talks about focusing on working on herself, which I understand... she definitely needs to do that. But she doesn't get to string me along, lie to me, put no real effort into the marriage, be psychologically abusive, and basically disrespect me in the name of "processing". And that's what's happened. When I stand up for myself, she blames me for putting her in this place to begin with. Physical intimacy is zero, and she shows little actual respect towards me. I can't overlook those things any more. I truly think part of her wants to make our marriage work, but she seems to think that she can back-burner me as long as she wants until she decides. That won't fly.