Hi Mleigh-thanks for the support on the MIL situation. I appreciate it. We have a lot of shared experiences there, for sure.
Started reading reconnection threads from TMAK. If there is any other general thread I am missing can someone post it please? I saw others that I should check out NGU (Never Give Up), M Go Blue, etc. Seems the gist for the LBS spouse is more patience, continue to make home a safe place while listening and validating. Meanwhile MLCer seems to be doing major work internally and externally in reconnection.
I had a rough day at work yesterday. Came home with my stomach all in knots. Popped in to H's room to say hi and touch base before starting dinner. Made a big mistake by answering honestly that I had a rough day and giving the details. H listened but also went into old mode of brainstorming on ways to help. This was always helpful and I could see he really cared (which was touching)! But part way through I thought this was too much for him right now. I know he is still fragile. I saw that once he gave ideas he was a slight bit overwhelmed with hearing details. I made light of it and changed the subject. I left worrying about how he was processing all this behind the scenes. Made a mental note: too much pressure too early But H said: let me email you some ideas because this is driving me crazy. I went to make dinner and H emailed me ideas.
After dinner he went out to walk (something he has needed throughout MLC to clear his head). I worried he was going to come home and bomb me again. Really regretted taking about my day. Should have called a sister. He returns and suggests we go for a quick stroll. We do and I keep it super light.
This morning he also seemed fine.
I read some of the reconnection threads and know I need to focus on continuing to make home safe and welcome.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
