Hi PP and PT, thanks for stopping by and helping me.
PP - XH has been in this crazy journey since 2013. Since then I insisted that H would get some help, asked him to go to MC and he always said NO to every attempt.
Finally I left it alone and did not engage in this subject anymore. Well, I think that's when he tough I gave up on him as he keep saying it to me. So the emotional roller coaster is going on for a long, very long time already.
PT - Yes, it is all like that. XH is saying all this stuff, he is even a lot wormer towards me now. Before, his texts were all logistic and now he even make a point to ask if I got some rest and if my neck was still feeling OK.
But, what can I do? He says all this but he did not say he wants to work on the M?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO... and that is it. I don't have a clue of what to do.
We got divorced and I need my space, move forward, etc... so that is what I am doing. Not too hard for a person like me. I am already very independent. It hurts, but I can do it.
But then XH has pursuing more now then before... just that pursuing but not committing. What can I do? How do you DB here. Do I show myself all neighbor and disconnect. Do I continue being somewhat friendly, not saying a word about R or M or the past, even if he says it constantly.
Do I set straight boundaries and ask H to disappear?
We have teenagers, but he insist that he always needs to talk to me about dates and times with the kids.
I already said to him to just call the boys and they would tell me, but XH does not listen and do not respect it either.
I spoke w/my lawyer and he said that H is not doing anything wrong and for the court he is just showing he has a good will to work with me in co parenting well.
Do I engage with him in all this R talks and ask if he would go to counseling? I don't want to initiate anything.
I feel that he is the one that left me and he should be the one the talk first. In his crazy head he thinks I was the one that left him first, he just put name on things, made it official.
Maybe now, I am more lost then XH. Besides, since he did not say with all the words that he would like to work on his marriage, how do I know if he is just saying all this but won't come back?
I don't know what to think. How can he say all this and yet don't say anything really clear? Maybe he is also getting the same message from me. I also said that I loved him a lot and that I did not show it to him the right way.
I said I am and was very proud of him, that he is a good man and he was always a good father and a good provides for our family.
But he also hear that I am looking for a new job and maybe out of Colorado, he knows I am going out with friends. He knows there is a guy that is always trying to go out on a date and I just do not want anything to do with him right now.
You see, because I don't know what to do, I feel that it is better if I just go away. Maybe if I put distance on all this, everything will be resolved.
Any, but really any advice is welcome. I just feel so lost. I have many whys, but one that is hard now, is why it is all happening now. I thought that the D would solve things for awhile, that we would be just business like and move forward.
