I have done just this ... wrote a letter to my W, its still in my drafts labeled "A letter to never send" It was cathartic at the time I wrote it ... and I took a look not long ago and tossed in some updates/edits in a different color just to show myself the progress.
I also have a reminder to write OM, never have done this as I think I just out grew that need, he was a POS who did not deserve the head space I gave him, sure as heck doesnt deserve any at the moment
Maybe do just that .. write a big one, with the intent she will never see/read it .. as you will never send it. Get it all out ..... it really was and is a healthy option. You do not have to post it here ... but if you feel the need to purge .. do it.
FWIW that letter, you are on the right track, firm in not being a cake provider, owning your own contributions to the M, understanding there can not be 3 people in a M.
Now just keep doing that mirror work, push through .. it gets better.
