Finally asking for help:

[Solo15]

I just wanted to thank you all again for all your help. I don't know what I would do without the support and great info.

I'm continuing to lift weights and that's been a huge help. I have been playing my guitar and trying to focus on being human again. I am amazed at how much I've been through the last few years, and detaching has helped me see how miserable I was. My IC has been amazing. I'm deep-diving into my self to get my heart healed of all kinds of stuff from my past, including my current situation. That healing changes the way I act, and frees me to let out the best stuff I've got.

I pray for my W every day, that her heart would be healed and that she would find peace from her past. That she would be fulfilled and healed of her brokenness. I find that praying for her helps me to focus on the truth, which is that even though she has hurt me so much, I love her unconditionally, and while we may never be together again, I will always love her and want what's best for her.

I finally want what's best for me too. Which is a new thing.

Thanks again everyone!