Hanging in there

[asitis]

I think friendly rather than sweet might be your 180. H is going to read sweet as a ploy. He'll still notice friendly, although I suspect he wants to read you as demeaning & critical.

I also suspect that you are asking him to do things (perhaps pull at least some of his weight around the house?), and these are things he doesn't want to do. While you should not back off on that if he is going to live there, you might think about if you nag him about it or not. If you do, then think of other ways to get the job done. Perhaps a list he can check off. Others may have creative ways.

You have tended to be too accommodating IMHO, so I actually think more boundaries and less actions (not words) that indicate you are tired of this and are moving in another direction might appropriate.

Cancelling the MC may be one of those steps. You've been trying to get him to talk more. He doesn't want to and punishes you when he does. That's not helping either of you. I suspect he is still feeling pursued through your wanting to talk and work on things through talk. Think about whether this is so.

Have a good time w/ all your activities & the weekend w/ the kids. When you get back from that see if you can think of some outside the home activities that are just for you and social in nature maybe.