Exactly what AZ said. And do not look behind the shoulder if she is looking, she will be, but in any case you are doing it for yourself.
YOU CANNOT NICE YOUR W BACK. No amount of nice actions, chocolate, flowers and jewelry will bring her back. She has turned off the emotions towards you. I am guessing that if you touch her, she pulls away. She has checked out of the marriage at least a year before she bombed you, and possibly more. In hindsight you will probably be able to tell when things started to look fishy.
I am not saying that you are without blame for the destruction of the marriage, own your $hit and work on it. Now you have time to fix you for (gues who) YOU!
A confident man is sexy as hell (so I'm told) and it helps confidence to be smartly dressed, wear the good cologne, be groomed and show her that you can take care of yourself. Fix your place up, learn to cook some (if you haven't already), do stuff that will make her wonder, but as I said, do not look over your shoulder if she is looking. Believe me, she will be. And no, you will not see short term results from her side, but you will be starting feeling better about yourself and that is what it is all about.
You have to detach from her to the point that you aren't triggered by her actions, it is hard as hell, but you can get there. And do not try to rush into a new relationship of any kind, totally not god for you. You have to come to the place of knowing that you will be OK, even if you do not get back with your W.
Give yourself time, you have to grieve the relationship that is gone and buried, but perhaps you can build a new relationship with your W.
Again, get your a$$ in gear and start growing, a little bit at the time, just start and then keep up the pace. Wonderful things start happening and you will start feeling better and you will get that feeling of being alive back.
