Difrent's Detachment - Attempts at It, Anyway

[DifRent]

Zues, I always appreciate your thoughts. I think that's why my thread is called "attempts" at detachment. I know I'm not there yet, and I don't always say the right things. But truly, things are better than they were. I'm glad you can empathize with where I'm at. This board is where I come to process things... yes, including her words.

I think now that I'm seeing this through the lens of MLC, I'm curious in that "science experiment" way. I am not ready to go dark, and I don't think it's necessary, at least not yet. I wanted to see if we could get through an evening without any acrimony, and if it could be one of those nights that was reminiscent of better times... every now and then, I do want her to get a taste of that, and since the day we leave this house is getting closer, there won't be too many more opportunities.

Did I let her eat cake, PT? I don't know... I let her do a lot of talking last night, and I listened with sympathy and compassion about the stresses of her job. Again, I often go back to things my DB coach suggested I do - she was much more a proponent of being a friend than much of what is suggested on the boards.

The way I see it, I can be a friend to her, but she can't to me... not now. I saw the whole dinner thing more as an opportunity to remind her that I've always been that rock for her, and that she doesn't have this rock in her life anymore. I won't be there to listen tomorrow, or the next day. This is a push pull dance, right? I think mostly, the interaction was positive and will sit with her, even if she isn't conscious of it. She did get more from me this week than she usually does, but I will - as I planned - back off now, let her pursue if she chooses to.

If history is any guide, she will. And if she does, I'll be back here for support.