Too angry right now

[asitis]

We all go through that. If she's still attracted, just let her pursue you a bit. Be friendly, but you be the one to cut the conversation short because you have plans. If she asks, say that you are respecting her space and you would ask the same, but no that doesn't mean you are seeing someone.

And no initiating affection. None. I don't care how tempting. If she does, you decide whether you are comfortable with it, and don't be the one to try to prolong it. If anything, a quick squeeze and then you break it. You are trying to leave her wanting more.

And, on the contact, it's like addiction recovery: one day at a time. Good job on today. Now do it tomorrow.

Finallly, that GAL planning has to take priority for you right now. You need to start lifting that focus off her & turn it to you. The sooner you do it, the better for both of you.

Keep up the good work.

[ohgosh]

Thanks.
I'd say 99% of my mental energy in a day is currently focused on her. It's pretty bad.

[asitis]

So tomorrow, your goal is 98%. More would be better, but it takes time.

[HurtHus]

One step at a time. One minute at a time. Don't rush things. Find the small changes that you can measure and track them. Hope for the best ohgosh.

[ohgosh]

In the apartment with her now.
Her friend is here which upsets me and I'm not in the best mood today, feeling rejected.

Trying to relax and let go.

[Azzork]

So leave? Act like you have something better to do.

And it doesn't matter how you feel. It's what you portray that's important. Show confidence, upbeat, happiness.

You got it.

[asitis]

Nothing wrong w/ setting boundaries about the shared living space & friends.

But get on your computer, and then get all cheery & tell her you are going out to meet up with some people. Then go do something around people, even if it going to a coffee shop w/ a book or the library to use the computer to investigate local activities that you might want to get involved in (check their bulletin boards too). It doesn't matter what so much, though something you actually enjoy is of course better, and it's harder to mope when you are around other people.

[ohgosh]

I wasn't upbeat and happy today, lashed out today but then apologised.

Had better chemistry later on, was going to leave but was hard, said bye, she was like 'come here' to get a hug but didn't initiate, I came closer, said bye and left.

[ohgosh]

My goal for tomorrow is to do some yoga and meditation before I come again so I can be more cheerful and fun rather than upset.

And I'm really resisting telling her what a mistake she's making

[asitis]

Keep resisting that urge! Really. It will not help at all.

Good on the yoga & meditation.

Just a request: can you put a signature on your posts w/ the details of your sitch? It really helps those of us who try to follow a number of them keep everything straight in our heads & leave better comments.