One thing that comes to mind is the saying from Dr. Joy Browne about kids: "Kids would rather be praised than punished, but they'd rather be punished than ignored".
It seems obvious that you'd prefer receiving love and affection from WAH...but since you can't attain that you're settling for passionate arguments and bickering. It's unpleasant, but it's meeting your deeper need of feeling connected in some way.
The question "how can you get that some other way" isn't easy to answer at first. There's no other way you can gain connection with WAH when he doesn't want to connect with you...so dig deeper. What does a 'connection with WAH' get you?
Is that how you feel significant? Important? Noticed? Understood? My guess is those are the underlying needs that are being met, the same needs that keep you chasing after a guy you know in your head is bringing nothing but pain in your life.
So how can you meet those needs other ways? Do you have any ideas? I'm leading a bit here, I'm going to stop now and let you get back to me. You've been uncovering a lot lately and I am sure you can reason this through. Talk soon 4.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
