New marriage over pt3--filed for divorce

[asitis]

guess she's flipping out as the reality has finally hit her? So I haven't texted back and she texts:

Great. The landlord just called me and I had a mental breakdown on the phone. Embarrassing. Told her I'm moving out but you'll be here until the lease is up. She said ok.

I replied to that one, I'm sorry you went through that(shouldn't have texted I know)

Then she texts--Just please leave me alone. I want to be by myself. I will be happier. I need to focus on myself.

WTF she texts me, and then says don't contact me, I wasn't planning on it.

So one day of not going dark and she explodes, at least now I will continue my new journey and life knowing

In WAW land it is OK to contact you, but you contacting them, even in response is suffocation.

Just do what she is asking and go dark.

It is interesting that you thought she'd never contact you again. That lasted how many hours? She's told you what she's wanted, and now it is can you do that until she says the game is different.

If she starts the even more crazy, "why aren't you responding to me?" Just say, you asked me not to contact you again. I'm complying with your wishes. Please don't get on me when I do what you've asked.

Then back to dark or at least dim depending on what she does.

I doubt you've seen the end of the crazy and confusing. Just get off that ride for a bit. You can always climb back on later, but you need a break.

[PigPen]

I went through the same thing AJ.

My W told me she thought we should just be friends, so I stopped contacting her. She then called me and when I told her I had closed my heart to her she got upset and told me she hoped we still got back together. So I started contacting her again. Until two days later when she told me never to contact her again because I wasn't taking the separation seriously.

So I just shoved my head through a wall since that seemed to make more sense than dealing with her did. And I felt better.

PP

[Aj8]

Hey Pigpen, yeh I was totally detached and went dark since June BD and now today after the letter, that was the last text I got from her. I'm not contacting her, nor do I think she will.

I just got home, she took a lot of our mutual things, but I won't ask for them back, the hardest is not having my cats of 5 years greeting me by the door when I come home that's hurting the most and the reality is here, all her clothes, items, are gone...after 7 years, I have to start over , she's gone..

[PigPen]

Stay strong AJ, I know how awful it feels. Just take it one day at a time. Fill your life with whatever you need to to get by.

I hear you on the pets, the only link between my WAW and myself right now is our dog, and she's had him for 4 months. I'd rather have him back than her at this point.

Soon the getting by will have brief periods of joy in them, and then even more. Follow some of the longer situations on here and you see the patterns. People do recover. If they do the work, they come out as better versions of themselves than they ever could have imagined in their M's. It's a hell of a price to pay, but the rewards can be worth it.

I hope you are able to find some peace.

[Aj8]

thanks Pigpen, some days I think I'm over it, then other days it's like the first day she left, all emotional...i cried so much yesterday and last night , losing my cats, my wife, the home we built. all her things are gone and the place doesn't feel like home

[asitis]

Sorry you're struggling.

When you catch your breath, I might suggest making that home your home now.

You've started rebuilding already, but now those walls & their old wiring have been ripped out & you can get started on the remodel of the home & the life.

[Aj8]

Thanks Asitis ---one step at a time I guess , got to keep going forward no matter how many times I'm pushed back ...sad next year we were going to plan for kids now at 35 I may never have children what a life , abandoned and thrown to the side like a piece of garbage

[asitis]

Stop thinking that way. I didn't get married until I was 38, and had my first kid at 44 & my second a month before my 48th. I still stomp on all those 20 something dads. OK, I work out a lot so I can keep up with the boys as they grow. But there are pros & cons to later parenthood, but that is the least of your concern right now.

Don't try to predict your future. Nobody gets it right. And certainly don't make yourself miserable about it, you've got enough right now to be miserable about

[Aj8]

You're right Asitis , I can't keep looking that much ahead because every time I do just depresses me more. Thank your for your words of encouragement and help. Everyone here empathizes Bc if similar circumstances and it helps me a lot .

Family and friends keep telling me to move on and forget about her, I'm trying

[asitis]

Just checking in to see how you are doing AJ?

Hope your lack of posts means some GAL is going on.