MLC Uphill? I think that can make them act a bit more like WW.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
I just wish I knew how to become like a WAH w/ 2 kids wo/ hurting the kids. It doesn't help that I was very numb to her for a while, but my damn meditation practice got me to see that this was really just a defensive wall & that I still loved her. Made me more patient, but much harder to go the WA route.
I definitely need to lower the contact, as I've gotten a bit sloppy lately, partly because W & I go back to work in a couple weeks & all the kid back to school stuff. Also, have responded to her seeming thaw more than is probably good.
Maybe Cadet can hold a class on solving the how to become the WAH wo/ abandoning your values and commitments. I know, just detach & GAL. But, I just don't see myself getting to DB black belt status of becoming WAH.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
Anything is possible? She's only 27 so I would hate to see what comes at say 50?!?!
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
That is where my conflict comes in also. The kid! Every time she calls my first reaction is to let it go to voicemail. Then a little voice tells me, pick up the phone maybe something happened to S4. I know it's in my head but if I could get rid of that fear I think I would do better? I mean if it is an emergency she would prolly keep calling.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
Or call, text, yodel. Just let it go to VM every once in a while at least. They are better aged.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
Just doing some thinking, if it is a MLC (more likely a QLC) I handle it just like a WW correct? I don't have the books in front of me at work and was just wondering.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
I'd say mostly yes. You will have the fun of riding the bigger emotional roller coaster, I think. You know the one that says you have to be "This tall to ride" with a cut out figure that comes up to your shoulders.
Both WW & MLC require extra patience for the time in fantasy land to come to a close. Maybe more periods of warmth and touch and go in an MLC, as they really are looking for a stable rock from which to jump off into the churning sea & come back to for a quick breather before jumping off again. Of course, a high portion of MLCs double your fun by having an A.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
Both WW & MLC require extra patience for the time in fantasy land to come to a close. Maybe more periods of warmth and touch and go in an MLC, as they really are looking for a stable rock from which to jump off into the churning sea & come back to for a quick breather before jumping off again. Of course, a high portion of MLCs double your fun by having an A.
Ummm ... not so much. Not atleast from my perspective and my MLCr went in right about 2009 from what I can tell (not like they send a memo of when they enter it)
Sure MLC does have some touch and go's but they are far from being labeled 'periods of warmth' There are several differences in MLC and WW .... but the DB approach is very much the same. I feel the MLC-LBS has to have a bigger sense of detachment and patience ... with a WW a more solid hard line approach seems to be more effective, both DBing as priciples go but the way the dish is served is different
MLC'rs respond very poorly to pressure, where from what I have read here its actually beneficial to add a good dose of reality and pressure to a WW.
Just my .02
(For the record ... a WW at 27 I doubt has hit full on MLC ... again ... just my opinion)
That is my thinking also Cali, if anything a quarter LC? That is why I wrote I hate to see what is in store at say 50?!?!
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
