Listen and validate when he talks to you. Do not offer up advice unless he asks for your opinion, etc. A good listener has a better chance of discovering what is going on w/their mlcing spouse.
About your MIL, you need to put that anger aside. Whatever happened, happened a very long time ago and there's nothing you can do about the past. As long as she continues to be a good MIL to you and a good grandmother to your children, then be thankful for that. Your h will have to deal w/his issues and if that means having a discussion w/his mother, then so be it. Also, he could have issues w/another authority figure that was in life back then...but time will tell. Nothing will come of that anger towards your MIL and it just might cause you to say something that you will regret later. Put your anger to better use by cleaning the house or doing something that requires your physical strength to get it done.
BTW, I wouldn't even think of recommending an IC right now...he's not ready, hence he's not fully baked yet.
As for his upcoming trip, he's reconnecting w/his old friends and that is a step in the right direction. Maybe it's time to read the reconnection thread and if you've already read it, read it again.
Keep those expectations at zero. He's reconnecting, but he's still got a ways to go and you need to keep in mind that when the dust settles you can't go back to the old marriage. It's a brand new one because both of you have changed.
Keep the focus on you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
