When is kindness enough?

[Ripe]

Fogg, I like the way you phrase things. And I agree with you: we cannot dwell forever on the negative feelings.
Doing some GAL, I just had the best weekend away with some friends, going for a brass band festival. It was awesome!! Anyway, for a brief moment I felt sad. Being surrounded by so much cheerfulness and having gone with some cheerful friends made me wish my W would have such joy for life. Carpe diem!

[quote=Ripe]
I would also suggest reading others threads. You can find a similar situation and use the advice given to them to help. I've found much of my own help that way. It also gives people an incentive to look at your thread and post when you comment on theirs.

This is one of the best advises one can give a newcomer. I have found much wisdom in this forum that has had a direct impact in my life. I have started a document with various quotes over which I reflect some times.
I really like this one from 25yearsmlc:

Any chance you can thank her for waking you up b/c MAYBE, before hand you were more of a spectator in life and not enough of a participant. So yes, you are grateful for this despite all the pain b/c there is growth from that pain.

I might not have accomplished much, but I am pleased to say that during our brief June reconciliation I got the chance to thank my W for the marital crisis, which has been a real awakening. At some point she said: "you are different, you have changed."
I really do hope I have.