Maybe it has already been suggested, IDK. In your attempts to emotional/mentally detach from the idea of her being your W, have you thought about pretending she's a boarder staying in your home?
Seriously, how would you treat a little old lady who was renting a room in your house? Think about how differently you would treat that elderly lady from how you treat your W.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
