I just recovered from a huge bout of bawling my eyes out over the smallest of things. A little gadget that used to be linked to a shared account under STBX name apparently can't be transferred into my own account without his signed notarization.
I felt the mounting aggravation on call with customer service. Trying not to tear their heads off about it. And then cried my eyes out when I hung up. Because
It is upsetting I can't/won't contact him about things like this. I'm afraid to have contact because it is just so upsetting when I do. It's just not worth it. And this is the same feeling of me dreading running into him and dreading seeing him at the hearing.
This is more upsetting because, well you guys know...our spouses were the people we depended on, our best friends...it is just such a glaring change and it dredges up all the rest of the hurt.
He used to take care of me in this small way. Doesn't now. Feelings of abandonment.
I want to throw this little gadget across the room.
It shouldn't be a big deal. It is a small cost to replace it, and not all that difficult.
I'm crying all over typing this. Why I feel so unbalanced some days. This is the stupidest thing (rationally) to be upset over. So, if there are any lurkers, no, it's not easy.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
