Too angry right now

[asitis]

Just remember that her texting you doesn't mean that she will see you texting her in the same light. When you do it, it is suffocating. When she does it, it's fine. At least in her eyes.

So, don't initiate. Don't reply to everything. Reply right away occasionally (so you don't seem like you are purposefully ignoring her), but mostly let them sit.

And remember, you are looking for sustained patterns of behavior, not a couple days.

Can you view finding a new place as a possible opportunity? At least a bit? There are usually some good things mixed in, and we can either focus only on the bad or see things more for how they actually are. How we feel follows from which of these paths we choose.

[ohgosh]

Thank you.
I will indeed do my best to not initiate.
Having this flat business together is a mixed bag. On one hand it requires us to cooperate and keeps a lifeline, on the other hand it gives her plenty of reasons to check up on me without real content and a great excuse.

My biggest fear is her finding someone new in the mean time, as I know this guy from uni is pursuing her. Can't control her actions, detachment, I know :-/

Going away this weekend with friends will be nice to be far from this for a couple of days

[ohgosh]

Feeling horrible today.
Constant fear of totally losing her to another man. Aaagghh

[asitis]

No you can't control her actions, but you can either push her toward seeking OM or not. So, just expect that there will be unpleasant surprises like this in your future, but work to let things settle and not provoke her into such situations.

Sometimes our minds are our own worst enemies, as we spend so much time suffering over what might come about, and we're very good at thinking up such stuff.

Focus on doing things that require concentration so that you can disconnect this story telling aspect of the mind.

Hang in there. And just ignore her keeping tabs on you. Just let her, and pretend she isn't. Show her an ohgosh who is handling things and GAL without her.

[ohgosh]

A main issue she has with me is that she thinks that I never really loved her or wanted to be with her..

How do I push her towards an om or not? She said she wants that anyway.

[asitis]

Pursuit. Checking up on her. Asking her whereabouts. Demanding or begging for an agreement to not see other people. Acting like her H (you should see yourself as a man who has an interest in your W as a potential R, starting w/ friendship & then as lovers), but forget stressing mutual obligations of the M. She's trying to run as hard as she can from that, and she will not react well to associating you w/ those strings.

The more pursuit & the more you seem like you aren't getting the message that you don't get that she is done (she's likely not, but that's how she feels right now), the more likely she will react with hostility and efforts to hurt you in order to get you to back off. One of those ways of hurting you is to grab OM. It also is a way to distract her from the pain of your sitch. The more tension she feels from you, the more attractive that distraction is going to look.

[ohgosh]

I hear you. I definitely have been guilty of telling her that she's still married to me and that's it's cheating. I've however backed off on that..

Also not initiated contact today even though it's hard as hell.

I know her tension is through the roof right now especially every time we meet as she is really attracted to me.. It's however pretty inevitable this week to meet.
All I want to do is hug her forever

[ILYNOT]

We all have been guilty of that, patience and prayer, [censored] to be in our shoes but it will make us stronger and better people, that I know.

[ohgosh]

Thank you.
Tomorrow we meet again to sort out furniture etc.

Great opportunity to not react with negativity or be controlling.

She's confused me throughout this process.
First saying were done, then a few months break, then again completely done. I guess she's just going through some extreme emotional fluctuations.

She has expressed that she misses me and there is a lot of love still between us.
I truely pray I'll get a chance to make this right and be the husband she deserved.

[ohgosh]

Not gonna send this:

To my dear wonderful wife,
I miss you and love you so much.
I am so fortunate to have met you and have had you in my life for the past 6 years, you are truly my best friend.

I wish that I could turn back the clock and change all the hurtful things that happened between us, it just pains me so much to think about it.

I hope with all my heart that we will again meet as new and rekindle our love and start our family and that our dream together will come true.