I left her the letter , I thought I wouldn't even get a response nor did i expect her to come back or have a change of heart . It was my goodbye and it seems her goodbye as well
Well the others gave you great advice, it's fine to write letters but you should NEVER send them. These forums and DB are united in explaining to LBS's that their WAS is NOT the person they knew and married. It is a DIFFERENT person. One that does not want to talk to them, much less share intimate secrets and make plans for the future. That person is GONE. There is no negotiating them back into the marriage which is EXACTLY what letters attempt to do. I think if you're honest with yourself and us, you couched it as a "goodbye" letter but what you were really hoping is that it would turn her around. Otherwise her reaction would not have upset you.
Your goal is not to reconcile. Your marriage is dead and gone forever. Your goal is to become a NEW you, and hope you can attract her back and build a NEW relationship with her. She doesn't want to go back to what you had and neither should you, it didn't work. So her reply is 100% predictable, many of us could have told you practically word-for-word that that would be her response. All it means is she doesn't want to go back, she wants to go forward. If you want a relationship with her then you too need to go forward- change yourself, give her LOTS of time and space. The irony is it won't be until you finally get over her and become an independent, strong, sexy, confident man again that she will start to take notice, and unfortunately by then the LBS often doesn't want the WAS back.
