I have committed to my wife that we will give her working there a while to see how it goes. Her contact with the boss has been minimal and 100% work related. I've been given access to her emails and now how to retrieve permanently deleted ones should I have a flare-up on non-trust...
The OM/Boss emailed my wife and copied me on it stating that he agreed the conversations got out of hand after starting innocently and re-iterated that he would not have pursued things in a physical nature. I'm still struggling with whether that is true or not from his standpoint, but I know my wife would not tolerate any further advances at this point.
This past weekend we were all at a neighbourhood party at the OM/boss's. It was an outdoor gathering so there was not any 1-on-1 contact amongst any of us (aside from the OM's W who is still in the dark)...there was a certain awkwardness from my perspective as I tried to keep a physical distance. After the party ended there was a smaller gathering with fewer guests out front for a fire. My discomfort was stronger so when I got an opportunity to call it a night I took it. I was hoping my wife would have also, but she remained outside (OM and his W still outside but not in close proximity)...wondering what is reasonable of me to ask of my W in social settings when I need to excuse myself? Should she come with me? Should I stay and not leave her side with the OM present?
We are both in agreement that my W and the OM cannot be friends...we can remain friendly and put up an appearance, but any harmless banter they had prior to the EA just cannot happen, whether it be around the house, social settings at work etc...Professional at work; cordial at home around friends/neighbours that's it...I'm willing to try this for a while, but on the other hand I'm wondering what if I had taken the OM/Neighbour up on his offer to move???
I know I need time to pass to assess whether this discomfort will subside or whether I will have to circle back around and suggest to the OM that moving is what I need to happen...better him than me!
I am not disregarding your advice for no contact - we had just figured out a game plan (my W and I) to try this approach before I came across this site and poured out my feelings...I hope you are not right, but if you are that is what will have to happen...
