Sitting and Spinning

[HeavyD]

Getting on with life....sigh..... Yes doing that.... looks like my life is getting on with or without me. Hah!

Thanks for the nice comments about me handling my situation with skill, although I do not think I have done that. I try, some days are better than others.

I agree that any form of pursuit or pushing is not a good plan. It only drives people away. I love the open birdcage door analogy. I think that is the best way to describe most of our situations.

I think the moral of all of our stories is that we are not supposed to understand everything. Some things in this life are mysteries. There sometimes is no closure, or apologies or any Hollywood ending. And so where does that leave us? To carry on of course.

I read a great book by Joel Osteen who recommended us to thank God now for the goodness to come, not to wait until the goodness is here and then thank him. Basically, have faith, trust God and thank him now for what's to come. I liked that and will remind myself to thank God more often. Gratitude for what I have and not the sour grapes for what I don't.

[HeavyD]

Due to recent flurry of doctor events and scheduling issues we have decided to email all appointments with an accept or decline feature. Maybe this will help keep kids activities more organized. I hope so.

Most of the appointments I received from w were at really weird times like 2
in the morning, 3 in the morning, etc..... She was always an erratic sleeper but I was still surprised at the time she sent all of these at such strange times.

So now we are business planners and organizers. We were always good at that she just needs the "passion" of her AP. That was what she told me the last time we really talked. Ouch.

Well maybe this scheduling this will help.

She insists on everything be listed as "private" on her calendar. Since all of this started her secrecy about her life is paramount. So much secrecy and drama.

Why would putting a kid Doctor appointment on a calendar need "privacy"? It never did before. Oh well!

[CaliGuy]

Heavy

That sleeping thing .. yup .. W was that way during the serious crisis time. She looked exhausted during the day and I would get emails/TM at zero dark thirty often. Seems their minds race so fast they can not calm down and sleep so they find things to keep themselves busy .... this is still the case with W, not sure what she is processing through but yeah .. its their own personal little hell I think.

The privacy thing was one too. She would email me things, little nothing things, and ask that I delete the email. I would chuckle every time thinking in my head .. yeah the KGB would definitively be on to us if they had this information about a teeth cleaning.

[asitis]

Google calendars allows you to not make a calendar public, to invite individuals to view or edit a calendar, and you can have multiple calendars w/ different levels of control. Would something like that help?

I know the passion comment had to hurt. It also gave you a clue. GAL and finding things you are passionate about are things that might draw her attention back to you, especially when A gets past the infatuation stage. What have you really always wanted to do, but haven't? What did you used to do before you dated or early in dating that you stopped? What have you thought would be fun or something you might like? Getting even on additional thing in your life that turns you on might help w/ the struggle of waiting, and also make you come alive to your benefit and potentially attract someone back.

If you don't feel like you can be passionate about anything, then you have a big topic to bring up in IC.

[HeavyD]

I play music. I have wanted to learn banjo so I will look into classes for that at the local guitar shop. Maybe mandolin classes too. Anything stringed I like - guitar, bass, mandolin, banjo.

I joined a meetup for bluegrass and played guitar which was a lot of fun and all new people for me. I will continue to do that when I can.

Yes, getting passionate about SOMETHING seems like a very good idea.

[asitis]

Very cool interest. I'm glad it can have a social component too.

[HeavyD]

Lots of texts and emails about kid things.

I just don't have the heart to answer now - maybe later tonight after things settle down. Nothing major just " how did it go " types of texts and emails. After doctors appointments, lunch and house errands and Target for back to school and the Saturday party on Saturday.

Just am through with any and all drama.

Is this going to be my life for the next 10 years? If so I have a lot of adjusting to do.

Bleh

[asitis]

"Too busy right now to cover all that, I'll catch up when I can tomorrow or the next day. Have a good night."

Boom. Drama on pause for a night off.

[CaliGuy]

Heavy

Seems like this is more about her making sure you stay put ya know?

Might be time to figure out some boundaries here .. something that works for you. I recall my W being all over this stuff at one point .. S's Dr appts, sports events, scheduling things out months in advance to make sure her and OM would have their set times, bills ... and just to make sure she had me close and could push buttons she would constantly bring this stuff up .. not just all at once, like trickle the info throughout the day

Really got old.

[HeavyD]

What do you suggest for boundaries?

Boundaries as in how many times I respond? Respond as in only in emergencies? Can you help clarify?