Well as I mentioned I have been slowly moving in with W into the "Love Nest" and have been making changes ... W has been very happy and accepting of these changes but as I discovered they were mostly for me and not so much for her.
AS I stated last thread .. Indifference... thats has been my feeling the past week or so. W started her new job, she is very excited about it ... it pays a ridiculous amount and she just learned rather than a 6 month contract, sounds like its a 12 month contract. She loves the environment, says her boss is already 'wonderful' ... so far nothing but thumbs up which is good. I cooked her a nice dinner, her fav ... she asked why and I told her to congratulate her and to celebrate her 1st day (180 from Cali 1.0) .... Some of the things our 'hmwk' has brought up I have enforced a bit .. dinner for instance, we all 3 sit at the table at the same time, eat together without any phones/ipads/TV's .... I found myself really happy as we all 3 were talking about our day... S was engaged and happy as was W even though they both gave me a 'look' when I shut all the devices off and told them to do the same. I did later get a wink from W and a mouthed 'thank you' as we were talking. Then I cleaned up, took a shower and decided to read a bit.
W shared she is all set to go on the vacation, so looks like we have a family trip all set in 2 1/2 weeks, something I am looking forward to.
Last night we watched part of our new show that we picked ... then went to bed. W was a bit more affectionate however I was sapped, plus the fact I tire of the push pull game ... I turned in and fell asleep. This morning I woke and walked the dog at his wet nose in the face request at zero dark thirty ... came back in and started getting ready for work. W asked why I did not wake her to join me, was more out of letting her sleep as I told her. She then mentioned she felt distance between us .... and that I did not read her 'signals' last night. I simply told her I did not realize she was wanting to be close (refrained from saying she is typically that way knowing it sounds judgemental) and I told her she simply needs to just tell me, I would not reject her.
Some things I have noticed over the last month ... alot more ILY's, but what has struck me as odd is the pet names, babes, honeys ... all that very frequently which were things I would say out of habit early on in this crisis that would flip her straight to monster mode with some serious spew. This morning she gave me the ILY and I replied back with the ILY2 and she wanted me to confirm that I truly did .... she seems at points very insecure about this as the vets here have foreshadowed.
So ... I try to remain calm and patient through this ... its tough not to want to talk about issues and get them out in the open, shed light on that herd of elephants ... but I trust the board and the vets here, I will continue to focus on me and allow W to figure her sctuff out on her own.
