Finally asking for help:

[Solo15]

Thanks so much for the insight Cadet!

Yeah, it really does sound familiar.

She does not have an OM that's technically active in her life, but there is an unattainable 'crush' that she is maintaining with a teacher of hers that lives in another country. She cheated on me with him when he was in town one night, which is what prompted me to separate. She claims it was physical, but non-sexual, but who knows. I grilled her about it for several hours and am fairly confident that she's telling the truth. Still devastating.

I guess the tough part is finding the balance. I am desperate to be able to be with my children, which means at least during the school year visiting them at the house several times a week at night and taking them on the weekends. If I visit them at the house, then I can't really detach from my friendship with W.

I've been stewing on this for weeks trying to figure out what my boundaries are to avoid the cake-eating. The next few weeks are going to be tough.

Thanks again Cadet!