Thanks Rick. I appreciate you stopping by. I'll try the big red stop sign!
Didn't sleep well at all last night. And then, this morning, STBX bailed on visiting D because... it was raining... and also he has to leave a little bit earlier than expected for his business trip. "I hope you understand," he said.
No, I don't understand at all. So I sat on it a bit, drafted a few different responses just to get them out of my system, and finally wrote, "Yeah, I can see how it would be a pain to come over here in the rain." And took a big sip of STFU.
And when he spoke to D on the phone, and she asked him why he wasn't coming over (like I told her he would), I didn't say a word. I just hugged her. When she said, "Daddy I want to see you," I didn't say a word.
And then, I reframed it for myself. How lucky am I? My D cuddled with me in bed this morning, I got to spend some extra time with her, and she is in camp (and I don't have to work today), so I have the whole day to do whatever I want. I know that someday, when this is all settled and I have fully moved on (or mostly moved on), I will be grateful that I am not his spouse anymore. And I am so thankful to the universe, and myself, and everyone who has supported me--including you all here-- that I am strong enough to be a loving, consistent, compassionate parent for my D.
