I've read most of DR. I have stopped snooping. Backed off completely from even trying, though I hate being blind. Of course it's my business, so long as he is my husband. But yes, I know it's his choice, not mine and I cannot change it either way. He does seem to want to talk about things, have a better marriage, etc. But he also feels like things will never change (even though I know I've made some progress). He offered to do marriage counseling a few months ago. We did one. It stopped for a variety of reasons, and from what I understand, it's not what we need to do (now?) anyway. He has admited that he has caused "damage" and that he is damaged and that he needs a support system (of course, not me because I'm a terrible wife). He says he is mired in depression (he's often fought depression) and only feels positive if he has a purpose/feels needed.
What do you mean ready... ready for what exactly? Piecing? I see that. At what poing did your ex become ready to stop blaming you? What would be my next step?
Me: 42, H: 38 Married: 12 years (second M for me) 14D, 9D 2015 EA (PA??), porn addict, *pastor/counselor* MLC
At a counselor, he said he wanted the marriage but not to work on himself w/a IC. Piecing?
