You know, Luke, here's what I think having gotten to know you over time. I think you have to see this play out. I think you have to know, deep in your heart, that you did all you could to save your marriage and keep your family intact.
I know for me, I needed to be able to say to my son, should he ask, that I did everything in my power.
That mindset helped me get over some of the really rough parts.
The way back for them is in reverse. We are the first to go, so, we are the last that they reconnect with fully.
This crisis, man, it wreaks havoc in them.
I also think it's important that you know what you want, what's negotiable and what isn't. But I also think that you need to be a bit flexible in some areas.
If I have learned anything through all of this, it's that some of the things I thought were so important, just aren't in the grand scheme of things.
Sometimes you have to take this one day at a time. Just keep walking in a forward direction.
Think about all the freakin stuff that has happened. That's an awful lot for her to sort through, on top of needing to figure out what brought her to crisis.
This is a long haul. You are doing wonderfully. I don't think you are ready to give up yet, so, I am going to keep pushing you along.
But please know that whatever you decide, I support you and I will be here for you in any way I can.
Thank you uR ... and yeah. I do want to 'finish' the race ... there really does not seem to be an option for me with that, its always been that way for me here and I never could explain it, it was not out of fear nor dependency .... loyal to a fault maybe, I am not sure why but yeah.... I have to see this thing to the end whenever/where ever that is.
I know what I want ... but I also know what I need .. 2 different things. out of these two are filled with negotiables and non-negotiables. There are just certain things ... sure I could say .. ok maybe we do not need this .. but looking at M1.0 and my own failures, I have made these mental notes .. and continue to address them with myself as she works through her stuff .... almost feels like a new limbo all over again but its different .. not sure if I can explain it.
The Keep walking forward .. is spot on and what I have been doing. Its alot like that ... taking a walk, you see something out of place ... its not the time nor place to correct that, I have to just continue to walk forward and not get side tracked.
Its funny .. I gave advice the other day, and the word hit me like a hammer: Indifferent. Its easy to feel one way or the other over things ... happy/upset ... So I have been trying to be more that way, PMA up and just not let things sway me one way or the other.
I still have a long ways to go in all this, I know that ... I am very fortunate to have been able to get to this point, time will tell where all this ends up and I will continue to learn and grow, continue to mold Cali 2.0 into who he was meant to be ... W will do her thing and work through her stuff ... when the dust settles then I we will see where we go from there.
