This is screaming anxiety and impatience when viewed from the MLC prism, not the M prism. Make sense? Your W has just begun the process of reintegrating her individual parts that were torn asunder when the MLC fog hit her.
It makes total sense and between what job and uR have been telling me, plus this from you ... logically I get it. Now in now way am I pressing W "We must have relations by Tuesday" ... in fact I have been pretty closed up about it ... and distracting myself with other things to not be focused on it. But Emotionally is where the struggle is .. knowing I can vent here, get this out in the 'open' where its safe ... keeps me blurbing it to the wife. The issue I wrestle with was her medical situation lead me to believe sex was off the table, hard pill to swallow but I did .... it lead me towards emotionally withdrawing from her (retrospect and lesson learned). Enter OM and all that new attention she received and poof, she was healed. Painful .. sure, so now I look at what the new M might be ... SSM is a concern, and as you said .. sure anxiety and impatience are there because deep down there is a voice saying "You shared that with OM, but can't with me?"
But I get it ... she is not there, nor is she ready ... honest truth I'm not either. Its like when we had S, I was all about hurry .. hurry be born already so I can touch/hold/love you ... once he was born and they put us in the car I recall thinking "Oh Chit now what?"
Originally Posted By: Wonka
As you may have read from my old MLC threads, sex drive or interest in sex takes a nose dive within the M because of internal pressures from the marital house. As we slowly reintegrate parts of ourselves, we slowly re-join the human race by reconnecting with old friends, family, co-workers, then the spouse is the final piece in the process.
I do not recall reading that .. again .. one can read so much so fast ... may not have struck a chord that it would now with me in my sitch.
Originally Posted By: Wonka
Cali, I know you are a man and have those needs. Unfortunately, you're going have to put it on the back burner for a little while as your W works through her issues. I am talking months here, buddy.
Sex and intimacy will have to take a number at the waiting line. I think you have come far in your personal journey to hear this here. What's a few months?
Timing is everything here...you well know by now how many times we've counseled you dig deep for patience.
I think ^^^^^ is the source of my impatience ... something I will work on. There is that part of me ... the part that has been doing all I can for some time now, doing the work, the part that screams .. what about me, I matter too. But as you said .. dig deeper for patience.
