It mostly sounds like she is cake eating.

She wants you but she doesn't want you.

You have been rescuing her all your life and
making her happy.
At some point that is not going to keep working and
she has to make herself happy without your help.
She has empty nest with the kids going to school and
this is all stuff she needs to work through.
We all thought that we would work through it together
however that is not the way it is working out.

Does this sound familiar?

Does she have an OM?

Me-70, D37,S36