Finally asking for help:

[Solo15]

Thanks Cadet! Yeah, I've read the homework and have been reading the forum for a long time. I guess I'm just sort of looking for some clarity because my situation is just kind of odd comparatively. I'm focused on detaching, on validating, on doing 180s that are applicable.

In my case of being separated, when my W wants to maintain our friendship, and still wants to do family activities together, I'm not sure if I am just keeping her from having any consequences to her choices.

I'm still paying for everything, maintaining the house that I'm not living in, and still am filling that space I always have to her in being her friend.

I guess for some, this would be a really encouraging thing. Maybe I should just move through it and continue to show my changes through my actions. I have to find a way to be firm though and look out for my little ones.

She's all over the place, almost like an angst-ridden teenager. She's not thinking clearly about money, or the future. I guess time will tell.