Your anger says your values have been trampled and you have been mistreated. This is a rightful emotion for this situation and it will help you get through this.
Make no mistake, there will be days when the anger slips and you will mourn. In my D support group, there was a diagram, like a ball of string, each piece of visible string labeled, "sadness, loneliness, anger, rage, vindictiveness, despair, hope, anguish, fear, denial, guilt, bitterness, jealousy, betrayal, anxiety, confusion..."
And we sat there like five year olds trying to identify and untangle all of this. It was a Christian based group and I spent most sessions trying to hide the fact that I was heathen and learn what I could. Like this board, it was helpful to know that this is all normal and there were those doing worse and those doing better, each in their own way.
What can I say? Your W sounds like a hypocrite, a real coward who doesn't deserve your love. I am glad to know your self respect and sense of anger is in tact and you've done one of the hardest things already in letting her go - it takes some of us months to get to that point, authentically.
And when you are overwhelmed with other feelings, we'll be here for you then, too. This [censored]. You didn't deserve it, but you'll be ok.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
