We've almost all gone through the stage of turning all their hurt into anger directed at us. How they handle it varies. It's much easier for the S to blame all their unhappiness on the LBS than face the much harder reality that they have lots of things to address in their lives. Also, they get into the amplifying echo chamber of friends and family who hear only her anger-filtered side of things and then give well-meaning, but badly-informed advice. This further fuels their anger.
Anger needs to be fueled. She is doing that right now & she is ablaze. Know that she is really suffering & out of control. I know it is hard, but show her some compassion and don't add fuel to her fire by fighting what she says or talking about the R. She is also in no state of mind to make good decisions, so don't force those. You listen & validate with as much calm & empathy for her suffering you can muster. Don't get syrupy or phoney, but if you can bring this to the situation, you are draining off some of that fuel for her fires. It is good for you, for her, and for your kids.
Now, I'm not suggesting that you therefore allow her to do what she is doing with your kids. She can't do this. This is not good for the kids, nor is it legal. So Az is right about consulting a lawyer.
Sorry it is getting so ugly.
Last edited by asitis; 08/11/1502:15 PM.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
