The things we are then told to do...validate, 180, etc, are also difficult things to understand and implement.
They are so important for YOUR well being though.
And i know you want to fix your marriage, which consists of two people, however, you cant fix him. He has to do that. You can only fix you.
One way to do that is to post here more consistently. You will get more people posting to you, make friends in a way, grow a support system of people who understand, and that will help you to work through this.
Second, stay off his FB, out of emails etc...NO SNOOPING. It only hurts you and violates what little boundaries you and you H have. While he may have caused the big damage, all damage is bad.
Third stop using "but". People think a but explains something. What is really does is negate whatever came before it.
Ex..."i want to lose weight but that cheesecake looked so good that i had three pieces." Did i really mean it when i said i wanted to lose weight?
What do you think?
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
