Well ultimatums are not part of DB and it does not surprise me that this one is going to fail.
Personally I would stop worrying about whether she respects you or not, I can already tell you she does not, and no matter what you do it will not make a difference.
You seem to think that pressing a certain button is going to bring you the results that you want.
I would suggest resetting back to zero and start with a beginners mind.
Have you read DB/DR and all the homework? How are you starting to implement these idea?
