I have been reading other people's stories and I want to let you all know that it really helps put things in perspective.

I have a very important point to make in MC tonight and I realize that my biggest challenge is to remain emotionally calm while making my point. My H has been lying to me about the OW. I do believe the A is over, however he has not cut off contact and is justifying his behavior. I think if I can maintain a very calm composure and express myself well I can salvage this setback.

I need for H and for the MC to "get me" on this. First, I need to get very clear with myself what it is that my point is without getting off track.

1- I need complete honesty about the OW. I do not want to fight to stay in an open marriage.

2- I do not want to hear excuses about the OW. I don't care if its awkward to ignore her, or he "forgot" to block her online, or "they just ran into each other." If it is over it should be OVER. If it isn't over, then tell me (back to point #1)

3- I am no longer pursuing him so he has to start pursuing me. I guess I can't really say that, can I? But he keeps saying things like, "I was working all day in the dining room, and you could have come in and done your work next to me"???? Ummm, he could have asked me to sit with him, or better yet, take a break and ask me to run out for a cup of coffee with him. Real coffee or the coffee from Lonelees post, I'd be ok with either one!

Since I stopped pursuing we speak maybe 2 sentences a day to each other.

So maybe I should stick with points 1 and 2 tonight? 3 is really more my DB strategy.

And now that I am writing this down, I am realizing that it is probably good that H thinks I should sit by him while he is working. True, that is not quality time, and true, he isn't communicating with me, but if he wants me near him that is a good thing, right?

Maybe this week I will just sit in the room with him for a few minutes at a time while he is working- maybe limit it to 20 minutes or so once or twice a day, just quiet time, and not think of it as pursuing.