Letting go, really hurts (Smothy 9)

[Pyrite]

Hey Smothy,

you/we really need to stop trying to make sense of this behaviour. They are crazy. This is another way of looking what I have been talking about. For me, the process of thinking myself out of a rut, thinking about what I have and what I might have, and then thinking about "OW".

In my relatively lame, pathetic case, I feel bad. It is challenging to stay with this thought process once I get to this point of thinking about OW. Let alone actually think about OW. The guilt is on several levels. BUT - I can tell myself at least that hey. My W fired me in Jan. This helps but by no means fixes my problem.

So - for them - the WASs, this conflict must be astronomical! So much so that I think us trying to rationalise it WHAT they say - is just a waste of time. I think this the real take home message of "nothing of what you hear and 1/2 of what you see".

what he says about you, your role - you have already taken what you need. For the most part it is just [censored] anyway. Leave it where it belongs.

It would be interesting to know how these WASs end up. I can't fathom how they can continue this way. But then again, I have known a few and they seem to be resolute that their behaviour was rational, the situation was irrational. There is some truth to that perspective I suppose.

I suspect they end up all sorts of ways. As many as us LBSs even. I do feel compassionate for my W sometimes that she doesn't even know how she is damaging herself, her karma. But the reality is that there is no reason for me to believe that she will do anything other than enjoy the rest of her life to the fullest. I should be equally as compassionate and grateful should this be the case. truthfully, this hurts. More so than the alternative that she will regret this etc. This is yet another hurdle.

Look after you. Fort him for now. You need a break. Come back to it when you are stronger, more detached, etc. BTW - even his comments "that you haven't changed", amidst his "we're just friends" but we [censored] and say I love you - this is just childish bullshit. a writer in a movie would garner this exact relationship conversation to demonstrate what a deranged idiot the other person is. Smoth - don't listen to him!!

-Py