Another- HI I needed that 2x4! You are right it was not respectful in any way. As for agreements- there is never an agreement with him he will TELL me what he is doing and then I feel obligated to watch the kids. Why do I feel obligated? I am needy controlling, and manipulating the situation. I am controlling the kids not being around OW so if I do not agree to watch them he will just take them with. I then resent him because I am always at home and then "hold it over his head"or use it against him! YEP another negative cycle! Next time this situation comes up I will CHOOSE to be the better spouse and let him know ASAP! I keep trying to explain to H that he should ask and not tell me what he is doing but he does not care and states he does not have to since we are not together. So I am CHOOSING not to nag about it anymore!
