New marriage over pt3--filed for divorce

[late30s]

I feel for you, Aj. It's horrible to watch this all unfolding in front of you. You feel powerless to stop it. I have also had a difficult time detaching, but some things have helped. I hope that you can find something to help you as well. Here are the things that have helped me.

I started seeing a therapist.

I found a friend who would simply support me, not tell me things like you deserve better, blah, blah. He is completely behind my decision to stand for my marriage.

When things are really tough for me, I reach out to my friend.

I came to the realization that if I truly respected my wife, that I had to respect her need for space. (This realization helped me a lot, before this I was convinced I could find some magic bullet that would fix everything.)

If none of this helps you, actively look for something that does. I have found that staying busy helps me a lot. I needed other coping mechanisms for those times when I was all alone in my head.

Good luck, Aj and God bless you.